Worst Blogger Ever!!!

Ok so I haven’t posted in what I would estimate is about a month.  Yeah so I have been busy making money for other people and haven’t had time to get outraged about anything.  But today is an exception, I need to comment on this.

This morning there was a new employee for my company flying into our headquarters and I had to go pick him up from the airport.  Anyway while I was waiting I decided to do a little AM radio scanning and came across a conservative morning show discussing how the Democrats will ruin the country if elected.  This of course is nothing new and neither was the hosts statement (real quote no lie) “The US is one of the worst countries to live in and if the liberals win the Presidency it will get even worse.”  Thats a nice little bit of hyperbole that usually would just roll over my ears, but not today.

I then switched over to NPR and literally as I switched they began a story about the state of emergency and temporary police state that is Pakistan at the moment.  After I stopped laughing all I could think about was how on earth this guy could believe what he had just said.  Any partisan is predisposed to amazing feats of exaggeratio, but man was this one bad.

This got me thinking about some ridiculous things I have heard from both sides recently and how when put in a greater context they point to a blissful ignorance of any grounding in reality.  Like Rush Limbaugh’s recent statement of “Recession?! What Recession?  We are booming!!” If only he had finished that comment with a “I don’t see no stinking recession!” in true Tony Montana style.  Followed the same week by NPR predicting the next financial Ice Age and a return to the dustbowl.

I get it happy, reasonable reporting that takes a wait and see attitude with issues we cannot accurately predict fails to sell copy, but come on.  This has to be the year of the Kevin Bacon Game Media Story.  Every event can be linked to something partisan and buzzworthy.  The SoCal fires are global warming!  No they are the fault of crazy liberal hippies who won’t let us properly deforest.  The world will explode tomorrow along with the economy!  No the world is better than ever, in fact I hear mother nature is going to bring us infinity barrels of oil for being so awesome to her!

Simmer down folks.  Take one of your kids Ritalins or a Percocet.  panicking is never the answer and neither is wearing optical grade blinders.  Let the egos go.  What killed the League of Nations?  Woodrow Wilson’s partisan, stubborn ass!!  If we can stop masturbating to complete political domination for half a minute we might have a chance at getting something done.

On a side note if there is one more news story about some repressed Republican fucking small boys in a hot air balloon this year then we all get kill Antonin Scalia in a ritual elephant walk.  If you don’t know what that is, look it up!

Free Speech costs a buck-o-five?!

Still slacking on posting regularly, but there you are.  Ok so the Supreme Court is back in action and the Scalia parodies are running rampant on NPR, Slate and others along with Thomas’ book tour.  On a special side note the most entertaining hour I have had in a long time was Sean Hannity and Thomas on the radio this past week (close second the Top Chef Finale).  What the hell is wrong with Clarence Thomas? I know there isn’t a real answer but you have to wonder don’t you.  He just seems so angry at everyone and his book has largely been panned by the “drive-by” (haha) media.  I know I’m not going to waste my weekend reading it, nor will I spend money for the displeasure.

Thomas leads nicely into the theme of free-speech (something he was happily taking away from individuals and handing to corporations last term).   Now for the second in 3 months Southwest Airlines has forced a passenger to change clothes with threat of deplane-ing (which is so not a word).  Surely after the first one blew up in the airlines faces they would have beat it into their bitchy stewardesses’ heads (thats right stewardess not flight attendent or flying aisle manager or whatever they prefer to be called) that even thought they might find a shirt advertising a fishing shop that implies auto-erotic pleasures offensive, get the fuck over it!

This is becoming an overall issue.  People seem to be taking themselves way to seriously.  I know that in post 9/11 America airline employees have new authority for safety measures, but lets separate the threats from the jokes folks.  To be perfectly frank I find the clothes that people wear while travelling mildly disturbing at times (but I have a hunch my opinion differs from those at southwest).  The people i find disturbing are the fanny packed, children toting, morbidly obese middle Americans who never travel and can’t figure out how to get through security or board a plane without creating such a huge situation that you want to choke them with their fanny packs.

Meanwhile expressing opinions seems to be going out of style faster than the faux-hawk.  Unless you were camping out inside a log this past week it was impossible to avoid the arguments  coming from all pundits about Rush Limbaugh’s statements (phony soldiers).  Personally I could give a shit (I think his “Barack the Magic Negro” song merited a little more comment) about the statement, but his defense to the liberal outcry was “you took it out of context, don’t you support free-speech, besides your the ones who betray the troops by not loving bush enough”.  And of course the other side with their letter to clear channel asking them to decry Rush (one of their biggest money makers).  Were we not promised a difference from this congress.  “We won’t get bogged down in stone throwing, we want to make a difference and stop this war”, how’s that going anyway?

Rush is a big, fat idiot but we already knew that.  Harry Reid is an idiot too, which was kind of obvious from the first time he was elected the Democrat leader in the Senate (does anyone else remember his first opposition response to the state of the union, note he hasn’t had one since despite being leader).  I keep wondering how are the dems no more popular when I hear Bush vetoing S-Chip, and then i remember that their leadership is short bus material.  It is more than fine to leave the punditry to the pundits and keep your head above it as a politician, really it is.

So nothing is getting done now, but the future is bright right?  Am i gonna need shades?  Well, not so far.  Lets say that the chafe has been separated from the wheat in this election already and we take the top two candidates from each party.  We get Rudy, Fred, Barack, and Hillary.  Hmmm, should we be overjoyed or overconcerned?  Rudy has about as much of a Presidential image as Borat (and oddly enough a similar take on foreign policy, see the multiple reviews of his article from foreign affairs).  He hasn’t gotten the knack of sounding worthy of authority either in context or in intonation, the only thing he is good at is getting indignant or answering his cell-phone.  Then we have big Fred, lucky for him everyone seems to have forgotten that when he was a Senator he did almost nothing and usually took his lunch at around 11:30 and never returned.  Honestly I have nothing against this because the less the government does the less they fuck-up, but maybe this isn’t a great idea following Mr. 10-hours a night.

Then we have Barack-I swear I have enough experience-Obama and his surprisingly controversial wife.  Her business connections are troubling to say the least (look up the food company and ‘non-profit’ hospital she sits on the boards of) and are in complete contrast to her husbands political belief.  And finally Hillary-I swear I have a sense of humor-Clinton.  Her laugh is scary, her vote on the Iran bill is scary, her lead going into the primaries is scary, her husband is not so scary.  Please don’t let her set women back another 30 years, pretty please.

Here is a list of candidates who barely exist but really should be given a chance: Bill Richardson, Ron Paul, Joe Biden, Chris Dodd, Mike Huckabee (minus his whole evolution thing), ANYONE ELSE WHO ISN’T AN EXTREMIST OR STRANGE AS HELL!  All I have left to say is, if Rudy wins I’m out!  I used to live in Canada and still know some people who can get me a work visa, I formerly had dual citizenship with the UK, and I speak fluent French I’ve got options.  But I’d rather stay, as long as he doesn’t.

A view from the right…Hannity and Giuliani discuss America

Back in the late 90’s Mad TV used to do a sketch called “Steven Seagal’s America”.  The skit featured Will Sasso as the stoic action hero driving around the country in a Maddenesque horse trailer and attempting to find the ‘real America’.  It always ended with Seagal beating his interviewees to bloody pulps for not agreeing with his twisted and slightly retarded take on the good ol’US of A.  I’m betting that Sean Hannity was unaware of this little skit when he titled his widely watched exercise in futility “Hannity’s America”.  This show manages to combine the boredom and punditry of the belated “Crossfire” with the pedestrian effort at journalism that is Sportscenter’s ‘Budweiser Hot Seat’.

Oddly enough though the views expressed by Hannity on this show are eerily similar to those that were meant to elicit humor when put in the mouth of Seagal.  The worst part about “Hannity’s America” is that, like his radio show, there is no other moderator.  Admittedly Colmes is about as close to an invertebrate as humanly possible but once in a while he can make big Sean stop and think.

So today on the radio Hannity was ‘interviewing’ Rudy Giuliani about this that and the other.  While I was trying to digest what passes as food I forced myself to listen to the mutually auto-erotic conversation and wondered if it occurred to them that people who don’t take their word as doctrine might be listening.  When they both agreed that a proposal to remove federal funding for Columbia University in the wake of the Ahmadinejad lecture on campus I wondered if they were posturing or were really that insane.

My first guess was it was purely political, and indeed the discussion led to finger pointing at Hillary Clinton for saying the lecture was acceptable,  but I think I was too quick in my judgment.   I then thought about how much either of these guys valued education (Hannity’s rants about liberal education elite and drop out from college come to mind…as do Giuliani’s rather pathetic grades and SAT scores).  But surely these fellows don’t harbor a grudge against universities based on personal experiences.  Wait, wait, wait…didn’t both of these two bloated assholes go to NYC’s second tier?  NYU!!!!! I found it!  I FOUND IT! I FOUND IT!!! I FOUND IT!!! I FOUND IT!!! I FOUND IT!!!

So you see it wasn’t posturing it was a deep seated grudge against the fancy shmancy IVY Leaguer that always made their alma mater (only  a kinda for Hannity) look second rate.  Don’t worry guys NYU is still a very good school and you have nothing to be ashamed of..well at least not about that.

Move on Giuliani…Hillary don’t ‘Betray Us’

So, unless you have either been living under a rock or just trying to avoid the election and Iraq you have probably noticed the advertising squabble over the past week. The main conflict has been between Giuliani and anyone who he sees fit to attack. This shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone because this has been his MO from the get-go. We all remember him demanding an apology from Ron Paul for daring to quote the Iraq study at a debate as if it were a credible source (let all vomiting finish). Now instead of attacking MoveOn.org for their anti-Petraeus ad he decided to attack Hillary Clinton for not immediately decrying the group and shaming them. Of course no one else did either but thats not important.

Clinton appears to have been identified as a democrat that will be hard to beat in the general election, while Obama has become the soft punch. So it seems that the republicans are about to turn their attacks specifically to her hoping that someone else (Obama) is their opponent. I think that Giuliani has about as much chance of getting elected as I do-and folks that ain’t much. If he gets the nomination, that if is about as big as the horse cock that killed Catherine the Great by the way, I foresee a situation that would be a mirror of the 1968 election with someone like Tom Tancredo carrying the south as a 3rd party, maybe.

Well anyway Now Giuliani apparently remembered that it is good graces to at least attack the people who made you angry and has released an attackad against MoveOn.org who had already put out one about him this time. Who’s the winner? I don’t know but I sure as shit doubt that it’s the presidential candidate who is having to resort to attacking a non-profit foundation.

Ari Fleischer, you must remember him, he was the first Bush press secretary we all kind of felt sorry for because he would make those pained “I’m sorry that I’m lying all the time” faces at press conferences. Well he came out this weekend on NPR attacking MoveOn because apparently he runs an opposing group that does the same thing for his side. His argument against them however was along the lines of “They have always been ro-peace hippies and I hate pro-peace hippies and they are bad for wars and government”. Ok ummm great?! I don’t think there was any confusion on this issue captain brainiac but thanks for clarifying.

So this appears to be the moment when MoveOn switches from an irritating fly on the ass of the Republican Party to a legitimate player. Personally I could give a shit, they neither advance nor detract from the debate, but I wonder if all the higher up Republicans realize how much credibility they are giving this far left extremist group by condemning them so frequently and publicly. Meanwhile I hope that Ron Paul pulls a Zell Miller and challenges Rudy to a duel or in proper parlance “demands satisfaction for his honor”.

And now for something completely different…

Slate published an excellent article this weekend about the latest trends in (urgh) ‘tween’ fashions. My first issue with this is that we call the ‘tweens’ what happened to pre-teen, it was perfectly fine. Second, why does the entire nation of girls under 18 seem to look like whores from music videos? I mean dear lord one female poster on The Fray (age yet to be determined) argued that it was cool for her 7 (yeah thats right 7 I didn’t typo) year old sister to wear padded bras and low rise jeans, and that she was well past the age of accountability (well she didn’t use that phrasing but I think the poster may have been 12).

The most common argument is that its always been like this, and on most issues this case is true, but not like this. I feel like I am speaking in the voice of a much older man but it really isn’t true. The Bratz dolls are not progress and neither is a young girl using them as role models. We have seen what this sort of thing does to young girls: Lohan, Olsen, Spears, Hilton, every kid on MTV and in SoCal. Kids are kids let them be kids. Let them screw up, goof off, do their own thing, but this is conformity (and its conformity to a disgusting extreme). MMMMM pedophiles. I mean seriously that who is attracted by 12 year old girls in babydoll tops and micro minis. Most boys their age are too busy playing sports and video games to even notice.

This is a completely apolitical subject which means I am straying from my primary interests (and if there are any, the interests of my regular viewers). I am not about to go running around yelling the sky is falling and decrying the moral decay of our nation and the younger generation because that is BULLSHIT. If kids want to fuck let them, they will be better off than the repressed assholes forming abstinence clubs and daddy-daughter dances (or as I call them West Virginia proms). But don’t force this stuff on them. If there were only a couple stores making these clothes for the ‘tween set and it had to be sought out I’d get it. Unfortunately from what I’ve heard short of shockingly ugly clothing it seems to be the only option. The author and posters all agreed on the difficulty of finding standard coverage wear for girls in the age group.

Freedom and choice are what we should be all about. And if a ‘tween chooses to dress like that fine, not my thing but thats between the child and parent. But when you take away the choice of other things in favor of making this the standard and claim it is because of market demand I raise my eyebrow. Clearly there is demand for something more reasonable than the little miss heiress/slut collection. well I think thats all I can say on the subject.

“When you find yourself in the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.”
-Mark Twain

It’s been a while

Well I completely screwed the pooch on staying up to date on the blog and with so much juicy fodder for comment. I mean sweet Jesus! Alberto-GONE! Rove-GONE! Craig-SELF HATING HOMOSEXUAL! The French-OFFERING HELP IN IRAQ! Bush-COMPARING IRAQ TO VIETNAM(and somehow making it in favor of staying)! So many more i can’t even begin to list. My proverbial cup runneth over!

Lets start with something fun. I used to work for John Edwards (yes the Presidential candidate). I have had personal interactions with him both in public settings and behind closed doors. I am going to start by saying this much-THE MAN IS A COLOSSAL ASS! He is about as pampered and two-faced as anyone in the media has painted him. I actually think several of his points are quite noteworthy, but he is a hypocrite. As you may have seen he lives in a 28,000 square foot mansion in Chapel Hil, NC. It so happens that it is approximately 2 miles from my parents house and whenever i go to visit i am forced to drive by it. He also preaches about not driving SUVs and conserving energy, unfortunately he does neither himself.

Senator Craig comes in as our honorable mention for hypocrite of the week. After voting against same sex marriage rights and speaking against the immorality of homosexual behavior he is found to be a closet buggerer. The man has had to deny his sexual persuasion so many times he needs an outgoing message on his voicemail with a disclaimer. If it walks like a duck, smells like a duck, and fucks like a duck…it sure as hell ain’t a bloody platypus.

I won’t bother saying more than goodbye Rove, goodbye Gonzales. I hope you soon have the company of your fellow executive branch hangers on. I also hope that Monica Goodling and Alby are chosen as the first pair to be sent to Mars in order to explore the possibility of human habitation. We can send them there against their will as well, without any reason because as our illustrious former AG says “there is no provision in the Constitution for the guarantee of Habeas Corpus (only a guarantee that it cannot be denied, btw excellent time to argue semantics with a senator you fucking moron).

I feel i let my emotions get the better of me in that last paragraph, but when it comes to torture I’m a teensy bit touchy.  Every morning I get up around 6 and read the news (Washington Post, Slate, BBC, various other blogs, and *side glance* ESPN).  While I am doing this I usually find my blood pressure rising over at least one story and that is usually when I flip to sports because at least there seem to be a couple rules applied there (and the odd bit of accountability).  But I can never shake the questions about how there is almost no discussion about political stories in my daily life.  Full disclosure, I live in Memphis TN which is hardly the education capitol of the nation.

On a daily basis I do run into people who by nature of their existence explain the Bush Presidency.  These are people who personify ‘ignorance is bliss’.  Until I left school I did not understand how talking points and signature slogans had any real effect.  Unfortunately I have realized that having a median IQ of 100 in the US means that around half the population is below this mark (credit Patton Oswalt).  I hear people repeat the sound bites that are circulated by the administration and I am beginning to see the sheer genius of it all.  Because when I try and have a discussion about that point and explain why it might not be as veracious as advertised I see their eyes glaze over.  They have no interest in the real issue or the matters at hand they just want an answer that is simple and memorable, like a gun under their pillow.  This probably sounds more condescending than I mean it to; let me simply state that I truly like and respect these people, they are hard working, honest and loving but they are being taken advantage of.  I believe that the dirty deeds will all come out in the wash eventually and when these trusting folks see what was done in the name of the people there will be hell to pay.

On that note I will leave you to go and watch LSU vs Mississippi State. Yay college football is back!

PEACE, LOVE AND KINE BUD!

Gay Marriage-Where’s the Beef

This weekend I took sometime and watched the documentary film Tying the Knot (2004). The movie is an exploration into the debate over gay marriage, an issue that has become quite the buzzword over the past few years. I am sure that we can all remember GWB’s state of the union speech from 2004 where he outlined the protection of marriage as one of the most important issues facing our country-somehow ranking it above energy issues, the war in Iraq and budgetary concerns. Most people also probably remember the failed attempt at passing a new amendment to the Constitution that specifically defined marriage as between a man and a woman.

The Film itself is surprisingly frank and simple. It focuses on several different couples who have found themselves victims in the wake of these laws. Stories about greedy relatives who take advantage of the law to steal pensions and inheritance from gay partners fill the film and disgust the viewer. I always have trouble understanding any non-religious opposition to gay marriage, even religious opposition confuses me.

First off lets remember that marriage is a governmental institution. Let us also remember that marriage for love came about in the 1920’s (blame DeBeers if you want). Churches can refuse to marry whoever they like, but that is not what the debate is about. Governmental recognition through marriage or civil unions or whatever is what is the main issue. We can debate till we are blue in the face whether or not God condones gay marriage but that has no bearing on legality. God doesn’t condone pre-marital sex and that isn’t illegal (anymore) nor is contraception or alcohol (well at least for now). When it comes to financial and legal matters opinions don’t matter and gay couples need to have recognition to enjoy the same benefits as the rest of us.

I have heard some argue that by passing a law recognizing gay marriage in the US we will waste taxpayer funds and legislative time. But the same people making this argument seemed to have no problem wasting the same time and money when the law was supposed to ban gay marriage. Also I feel that it is not a waste of funds to ensure these rights are recognized.

On a side note if anyone ever again tries to use that stupid fucking argument about “well won’t people just try and marry animals next?” I will eat my eyeballs. 1) NOOOO!!! They are not even remotely the same argument fuckhead! The connection between two consenting adults is not comparable to some dude wanting to marry and bone a pig. 2) Who cares!? Let him marry the pig if he is of sound mind and body. If it makes you happy great. Don’t fuck your pig on my yard, but other than that enjoy.

Of course I am speaking a touch tongue in cheek here but really how does it harm you? It doesn’t cheapen what you have. If you are so insecure about your own marriage or life that you feel something completely outside of it can cheapen it than you have issues. For example in 1919 there was an infamous plot to fix the world series. Does that cheapen the 2004 Boston Red Sox title? HELL NOOO! They are the smae thing but their status is not mutually related.

Get over yourselves and under your covers with whomever (or whatever) partner you chose. Good night America!

Who or What really is the most evil??!!

A few obvious names, places and companies jump to mind: Bush, Wall Street, Rove, Enron, Comcast, Jerry Bruckheimer, Darfur…  But I can’t shake the feeling that it all comes back to apathy.  I will resist the oft bandied quote about the evil of good men who do nothing, but it gets to the heart of my point quite well.  I look at the most recent issues on the headlines and then at their counterparts form the past and I can’t help but wonder what sort of role apathy played in those incidents.

The most recent FEMA fuck up really comes to mind.  In case you haven’t seen it there is now a report that the trailers that Katrina victims have been living in for the past 2 years are toxic.  Shockingly high levels of Formaldehyde have been found inside the trailers and there have been significant rises in the rates of respiratory diseases among children living in the campers.  Somehow it occurred to no one from factory to delivery that maybe they should run a quick test to make sure these were livable areas before setting up thousands of them.

I am resisting a FEMA rant because we all know the laundry list of other fumbles in their past.  But this is a perfect example of everyone saying “not my problem” and moving on.  That more than anything else seems to be the mantra of business.  Customer service in every perceivable industry is a non-entity and that’s probably not going to change any time soon.  This can be traced back to bottom line mentalities and the incredibly unemployment in America, but along the line a lot of people had to stand by and watch this occur.

Apathy can also be seen in sports, and over the past couple of weeks we have seen how that has ended.  Major League Baseball ignored the steroid rumors for so long that now we have Bond’s, Sosa, Canseco, and Giambi. The NFL had such exceptionally lax standards that when we got a new commissioner suddenly there were tone of disciplinary cases that wern’t there before…hmm?  I could go on but who cares.

We have spent the last 10 or so years ignoring, even *gasp* applauding, the destruction of every cultural restraint in young Hollywood and now we have quite a few starlets in jail, rehab and lord knows what else.  That doesn’t bother me much but it is symptomatic of everything else that is going on.  The predatory lending market has finally crashed, like everyone with half a brain knew it would, and has ruined millions of lives and made a couple of dudes really rich.  But no one ever stepped in on any side of the issue until the system was so far gone nothing could be done.

I am 100% against paternalism and in favor of personal responsibility.  I espouse these views on a daily basis and my less trusting friends give me endless grief for this fact, but I have been proud of this belief until now, maybe.  Where we are as a society now personal responsibility has gone out the window, but we can change this if we listen to the right people.

First step, every person must take a basic civics or citizenship course before they leave school.  They must also take a course on personal finances.  Then people will at least have some basic tools to judge situations in their life with.   Second, more freedom also brings greater punishment when trust is violated.  There is an excellent moment in the film Clerks where Dante explains the system of “trust change”.  It essentially boils down to when people can’t see that they are being watched they inherently feel that they are and are more honest purely by nature.

Does anyone feel more comfortable with big brother?  Can we do something to change that?  What is a public/common good?  Who is truly evil?

Ask me no questions and I will tell you no lies!  Can no longer be our public policy!  Vote Ron Paul or really just Libertarian!

Oh My Sweet Aching Ass–The Retarded Campaigns Persist

In case you have not heard yet Republican Presidential candidate Tom Tancredo has an interesting plan to deter the terrorists.  He stated before a group he was speaking to in Iowa that he wanted to make sure the Muslim extremists know what is in store for them if they attack us.

“If it is up to me, we are going to explain that an attack on this homeland of that nature would be followed by an attack on the holy sites in Mecca and Medina. Because that is the only thing I can think of that might deter somebody from doing what they would otherwise do. But as I say, if I am wrong, fine. … I would be happy to do something else. But you had better find a deterrent or you will find an attack. There is no other way around it. There have got to be negative consequences for the actions they take. That’s the most negative I can think of.” -Slate Magazine, “Tom Tancredo’s Final Solution”

I know that his election, or even nomination, is about as remote as the chance of Michael Vick winning a popularity contest at PETA but really.  I have yet to hear Rudy Giuliani cry out for an apology from Rep. Tancredo, but I do recall a fairly incredulous Giuliani demanding one form Ron Paul after he stated the obvious facts about why we were attacked in the first place.

The Dems are acting just as ridiculously.  Obama and Hillary throwing jabs at each other over whether being a Washington insider is worse or if inexperience is a bigger flaw.  In the meantime we have been subjected to “Obamagirl” and the wild ride of Hillary’s debate over which meaningless song to chose.  Where have the days gone where flash, pizaz and talking points were not everything.

But wait I just had a major brain-fart, what about campaign financing?!  In this election I have read more articles and seen more headlines either regarding the records being set in fundraising  or equally worthless NPR stories about how it is eliminating the small candidates…really?  The only other stories that i can find without devoting all my waking, non-work hours to the search are about silly spats and whether or not Ron Paul is a joke.

Issues I have heard something about: 1)Terror-universal agreement that it’s bad and must be dealt with; 2)Securing the borders-relative agreement that it needs to be done for our safety or jobs (no answer as to how really); 3)Evolution, Gay Marriage, Stem Cells-dumb, dumber and dumbest; 4)Experience-quite negligible when you consider that Joe Biden is being ignored and that Bill Richardson is out of the race (both being the most experienced and qualified; 5)Who got the iPhone first and who thinks young Hollywood is out of control-OK that one’s made up but it might as well be on the damn list

Simply put, when i find that the most reasonable coverage of the election to date is one 5 minute clips on youtube or in the “Clusterfuck to the White House” series on the Daily Show we are all in trouble.  By the way I hope no one missed the fact that the WSJ is being bought by MediaCorp-aka “All the news that’s fair and balanced”.

Save me Tom Cruise, use your voodoo on me!

A Good Start